Venezuelan president declares plant closing unconstitutional – Here are 7 things this woman wants to declare unconstitutional in Venezuela.

Satire Satire - International Affairs

President Nicolas Maduro of Venezuela declared the closure of a General Mills plant in Venezuela, “Unconstitutional and illegal.” The plant closed due to the worsening of Venezuela’s economic situation, which has experienced hyperinflation to the point where a cup of coffee costs 380,000 bolivars as of writing, which is a 16,422% increase in annual inflation. Here are 7 things that Maria Gonzales, who is the CEO of the largest coffee chain in the country and a resident of Caracas, Venezuela, thinks should be unconstitutional. All of the list below is put in first person view based off of our spoken interview.

1.) Backsass

“Oooh they better not. Banned.”

2.) Puppy Dog Eyes

“How can I say no to something with puppy dog eyes? Heavens forbid they tell me to jump off a cliff.”

3.) Dolphins

“I want fish and they eat fish. Banned.”

4.) Steve

“He knows what he did.”

5.) Climate Change

“It’s hot enough during the summer. Banned.”

6.) Space

“Space is cold. Banned.”

7.) In-article Ads of CoinBase’s Referral Program

“News outlets should not be allowed to advertise CoinBase’s refferal program as if it were a real news topic. When someone buys $100 USD worth of bitcoin using this link, they get an extra $10 worth of bitcoins, and that is too much capitalism for me. Banned.”

–interview end–

What do you think? Is there anything that you want to be constitutional or unconstitutional? Comment to let us know.

 

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pentop5
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pentop5

Yeah, outer space should not be allowed in Venezuela. That would suck, partly because space is a vacuum.