Satire - USA Politics
All public events canceled in the USA because everyone did something bad once
In a shocking twist, scientists have confirmed that it’s impossible for people to change and learn from experience. “Once someone hears another rational point of view, our studies found that 100% of people from the USA are not capable of changing their opinion in every case,” said head of this groundbreaking scientific study Steve Smith. […]
Satire - Tech
Bold new ‘Ad Masochist’ movement requests more ads
A new movement called the Ad Masochist movement has been lobbying for websites to have more advertisements on their websites. “It was settled as bad practice in the 1990s and 2000s that automatically playing audio was annoying and bad practice,” Terry Stevens, founder of the Ad Masochist movement. “But we believe that it’s because the […]
Colemak named best keyboard layout for summoning Maxwell’s demon, others
The Necronomicon contains ways to summon creatures such as demons and Cthulu. I tested the Qwerty, Dvorak, and Colemak keyboard layouts to find the quickest way to summon each. After thorough testing, the Colemak keyboard and its new update proved to summon Maxwell’s demon a full 1 second ahead of the Dvorak layout on average, […]
Satire - Environment
Meteorologist confirms that weather to calm itself sometime later this year
If you live in the northern hemisphere, you may have noticed that it’s been hot since it’s been summer. If you live in a place in the northern hemisphere that isn’t hot during the summer, then fan-freaking-tastic for you. It’s about 84 degrees Fahrenheit (about 29 degrees Celsius) right now and it’s a little past […]
Video
“It’s either me or the cockroaches,” says local spider.
Local spider Jim McMurray said to his roommate that it’s either him or the cockroaches. “John needs to know that I have value and feelings too. I eat bugs like cockroaches that come into this place, and I deserve respect,” Jim said. In response to Jim’s statement, John put out a press release saying, “What […]
This is why you need suits.
To appease the richer among us, in the hopes of advancing in our career we often have to play by certain rules. One rule, thank goodness, is that people lower on the financial ladder have to spend a massive chunk of their paycheck to meet the logical dress standards of rich people. Do you only […]
Man thrives by using only things from his assigned culture, uses no cultural appropriation
A local man has succeeded in thriving on using things only from his race appointed culture, which is a white western man with German and Irish heritage. Due to the Latin alphabet that English uses for its letters and numbers being invented in what is now Italy, and he’s only fluent in Germany and Gaelic, […]
“What if we and our observable universe are in a black hole and this is why space looks black?” wonders scientist.
An astrophysicist named Charles Williams has questioned whether we have all already passed the event horizon, and if our observable universe is all within the confines of a giant black hole. “What if the rest of space outside of this black hole that we are in is really bright, which is why the center of […]
The best keyboard for these 5 everyday activities may surprise you: Qwerty vs Dvorak vs Colemak
There are different keyboard layouts, and some such as Dvorak and Colemak have been tested to be more efficient than typing in the Qwerty keyboard layout. But which one is really the best? I put each keyboard to the test in a variety of challenges. Here is which keyboard won in each tested category: Declaring […]