This amazing reason is why the terrifying Lord Jellyfish, ruler of all jellyfish, approves of shark killings. This is so important.

Satire Satire - Environment

Lord Jellyfish, giant ruler of all jellyfish which kill over 100 people a year at least, has sent out an exclusive press release to Beyond the Echo Chamber. In it, Lord Jellyfish describes how it wants humans to keep up the good work of killing millions of sharks each year. Jellyfish are among the animals that sharks eat, so the less sharks there are, the more jellyfish there are to wreak havoc. Sharks, by comparison, kill about 5 people a year around the world.

King Scallop is concerned of Lord Jellyfish’s support of shark killings. Sent by Morse code, King Scallop, ruler of all scallops, described the decimation of many North Carolina scallops because cownose rays ate the scallops. Cownose rays are an animal that sharks eat, and when there are less sharks eating these rays, there are more rays which eat the scallops along with oysters and clams. King Scallop wants the sharks to, “Bite the cownose rays in their stupid faces.”

Many sharks are killed for human consumption. We interviewed someone who has eaten shark before. They described that shark cartilage has basically no taste and is like bone. They also report that it was worth trying once just to say they did it, but they wouldn’t go out of their way to eat it again. The taste comes from the sauce or broth, not from the shark cartilage itself; it would taste better if they replaced the shark cartilage with carrot which is easier to chew.

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4 years ago

screw jellyfish