My top 5 triggers for summer

Satire Satire - International Affairs

There are many triggering things out there. Here are my top 5 for the summer.

1.) Walruses

Walruses have giant tusks and a mustache. It reminds me of the patriarchy. Triggered.

2.) Gumbo

Why don’t they just call it stew or soup? This mystery worries me and aggravates my anxiety. Triggered.

3.) Tomfoolery

Why is it called tomfoolery? Why not tammyfoolery? This is another example of the sexist patriarchy at work. Triggered.

4.) Magnets

Magnets need opposites to attract. That’s homophobic. Why can’t the same attract each other? Triggered and reported.

5.) Grammer Nazis

Calling people grammer Nazis is offensive to all of the Jewish people who died in the Holocaust, and it’s sexist. I’ve literally never been so triggered in my life and I’m vomiting as I type.

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