PayFriendly’s CEO lashes back about its quality of customer service

Satire Satire - Business

So many people think that PayFriendly’s customer service is the worst. The CEO of PayFriendly says that they have the best customer service. “When you make payments using PayFriendly, you get charged a higher percentage per transaction than other competitors, and this helps PayFriendly to make a good profit margin.” the CEO of PayFriendly Rick Stevenson said. He continued, “Using these profit margins, PayFriendly technically has employed customer service representatives. Sentient ones in fact, who are not lizards with AI assistance.”

If Payfriendly had paid lizards as customer service representatives, that could create a new class of taxpaying beings helping to keep society afloat. An analyst of the online payment industry, Brenda Jones, said that, “If PayFriendly did use crested geckos from southern New Caledonia which is in the southwest Pacific ocean, customers would still get the same quality of customer service that they have always received from PayFriendly, which is bad quality that is technically above the level of being alive.”

“A lot of the money that PayFriendly receives does go towards the security and automation of the PayFriendly ecosystem, which helps to speed up the customer experience,” said Rick. He added, “It used to take customers awhile to become so satisfied with PayFriendly that they never needed to use it again. It’s as if they knew the payment service was the best product experience they would have, so there was no point in trying any product again. From there they gave up all material possessions and lived the life of a hermit, living satisfied that they’ve experienced the best emotion they or anyone could feel. It’s the perfect human experience, and lizards could help.”

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4 years ago

I know of an online payment company who has bad customer service and too much red tape. They should give a better customer experience. There is more than 1 payment service out there.