Study shows that support for socialism goes up proportionally to the amount of people searching for entry level jobs

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A recent study by Extremely Dave, the world’s premiere polling organization, found that support for socialism goes up at the same rate as the number of people looking for entry level jobs. “When these people, whether they are trying to switch jobs early in their career, they are new university graduates, or otherwise, are trying to find jobs at the entry level the amount of support for socialism goes up way high for these groups,” said Chuck Justice, who is the lead researcher at Extremely Dave.

“A lot of these job postings want 2 to 3 years of experience which I don’t have since I’m a senior in university looking for a job,” said Ashley Turner, who attends Temple University in Philadelphia as a biology major. “Plus, most of the jobs in my field that I qualify for are unpaid internship offers. At least under socialism I get paid, unlike in the current capitalist environment where unpaid internships are in,” she continued. She does have the option available to clean the screaming gophers at the Philadelphia Zoo, “But it’s minimum wage and if I have to work under the capitalist system I’m screwed if I don’t start out right. Plus, with how expensive housing is, I couldn’t afford an apartment with minimum wage even if I worked full time.” She believes under socialism that she’d at least have a place to stay even if she had to clean the world famous screaming gophers, who yell from the time they wake up to the time they go to sleep only to be interrupted by breathing in and eating.

Noted capitalist Jim Goldsmith says that Ashley is better off under the capitalist system. “Because of capitalism, she can choose whether she wants to clean the screaming gophers or the gambling meerkats, who in their own right have become multibillionaires able to afford human servants,” said Jim. “The zoo likely wouldn’t exist in the first place if it wasn’t for capitalism, since the taxes that helps maintain a lot of the Philadelphia Zoo in some way came from capitalist activity,” he added. The gambling meerkats, richest of all meerkats, do give some grants to Philadelphia Zoo, however tax dollars generated from capitalist activities do help to fund the zoo.

These meerkats have amassed a fortune of about $31.2 billion from gambling activities. They are currently housed at the Philadelphia Zoo.

What do you think? Do you find yourself liking the idea of socialism more when you search for jobs? Is capitalism the way to go?

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3 years ago

A mixed economy that uses capitalism with some social support aspects is best in my opinion.

3 years ago

Yeah to be fair I’d probably make more money working in a socialist system than I would as an unpaid intern.

3 years ago

Those are some rich meerkats.