The 7 incredible reasons these kittens are the reason affordable market based health care cannot physically be implemented in the USA right now

Satire Satire - USA Politics Satire - Video

1.) These kittens keep the amount of medical schools purposefully low.

In order to create a scarcity of doctors in the USA which drives up wages, these kittens use their incredible political influence to keep the number of accredited medical schools low.

2.) They want to keep their riches.

These kittens own approximately 534 trillion US dollars worth of stock as of writing in health insurance companies. You don’t see them on a list of the richest people on earth because they are kittens.

3.) They will summon the cat god of water, Catwa, if they don’t get their way and get everyone wet as punishment.

They know the rotten sting of water on flesh, and will unleash this fierce punishment onto the land if market based health care is allowed to exist at the same time as a separate market to government run health care so that people can choose.

4.) They get adorable kitten laughs out of overcharging the government for all aspects of health care.

With their wide portfolio of not for profit hospitals that they are the highly paid heads of, the most profitable thing that these kittens can do is overcharge the federal and state governments when a patient is paid for by the government. If they had to solely rely on the income of most of the people who come into the hospital, they wouldn’t make nearly as much money and would probably lose money in some cases. Insurance companies would likely not insure many poor people in a market based system since it might cause the insurance companies to lose money. The middle class and above people who could afford private insurance would mean less money for the hospitals in these kitten’s portfolio as well, since the insurance companies would likely be for-profit companies.

5.) They spend billions on advertising to prevent affordable market based health care from happening.

They spend billions advertising the myth that providers can’t offer affordable health care in a market based system right now. The advertised reason is that people other than the rich would not be able to afford the high prices in the first place, and without government health care most people would be left with no access to professional health care unless they were rich. They further advertise that at least some level of government provided, professionally administered health care is better than no professional health care.

6.) They prevent private offices from opening.

Their influence with land owners in the USA allows them to close down most attempts at creating market based clinics. Otherwise it would be financially doable right now for companies to provide widespread use of market based clinics in the USA. In a plot twist, their market based health care at the veterinarian’s office is cheaper than human’s health care for some similar procedures.

7.) Many health care lobbyists are several cats in human outfits.

This keeps many of these kitten’s friends and family employed in the sector, and allows wealth to be kept within the family and passed down from generation to generation.

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