The incredible story of Lord Jellyfish’s bold moves in the bluefin tuna industry is too important to miss.

Satire Satire - Environment

Lord Jellyfish supports the consumption of bluefin tuna, which are among the animals that eat jellyfish. Bluefin tuna stocks are down to 4% of their historic numbers, are at threat of going extinct, and Lord Jellyfish wants to accelerate this process. “We will capture more bluefin tuna and sell them at below-market prices to make bluefin tuna easier to buy,” said Lord Jellyfish via email. Lord Jellyfish wants people to eat as much bluefin tuna as they want to help jellyfish thrive in the ocean. Jellyfish kill over 100 people a year,and jellyfish blooms harm fishing villages’ economies in many places around the world due to jellyfish overpopulation.

Emperor Tuna, ruler of all tuna, has expressed disappointment in Lord Jellyfish’s plan to sell tuna. “We are trying to increase our numbers and join the swordfish and sea turtles in defeating the jellyfish menace,” said Emperor Tuna. Emperor Tuna wants people to stop eating tuna so that the tuna population has more strength against the jellyfish. “Please accept our allegiance,” said Emperor Tuna.

Many fishers are reportedly still catching bluefin tuna and disregarding calls for an alliance. “People are demanding bluefin tuna, and we will keep catching them until they go extinct, people stop eating them, or it becomes illegal,” said one fisher who chose to remain anonymous. There are more sustainable seafood options out there for people, and a guide for which are more sustainable can be found at The epic ocean war rages on.

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3 years ago

Bluefin tuna eat jellyfish, and jellyfish should be depopulated. Thank you for giving a link to some more sustainable food choices. I’ll be eating less tuna from now on, thank you.