This good boy is excited for these new Beyond the Echo Chamber features.

Satire Satire - Tech

The esteemed publication Beyond the Echo Chamber has unveiled new features, and this good boy is excited. He can befriend and message commenters now. So if he thinks to himself, “This person is great at making points,” or, “Wow that llama can type really well,” then he can step right up and make a friend. I know this good boy wants to make friends. Look at him!

In addition to being able to add friends and message people, he can register for the website using his Facebook, Twiiter, or Google account, in addition to the option of being able to sign up using his email address.  The new profile options on the menus will help him better navigate too. He can now also create groups and invite people, and he wants you to join the Puppy Club. Signed up users can create groups and invite people, which he’s excited about.

What’s that boy? Oh! He’s wagging his tail and excited about the fact that a lot of activities that he does on the website as a signed up user gets him points. Click this text to find out how points work here. He’s shaking like a 5.0 earthquake from excitement because he wants to use his points in the points shop to get the mystery package. What will be in it? A new chew toy? 20 new chew toys? As of writing, a 6.5 earthquake has been recorded by a seismological station, with the epicenter being this puppy who is anticipating getting the mystery package.

The phenomenon of canines barking at mailmen is rooted in Beyond the Echo Chamber’s mystery package. Canine legend has it that salvation in the form of a mystery package will come to all good canines who get enough points. The bark of a dog for all of history has been used to communicate one thing, “Do you have the mystery package?” For all time, these canines will continue asking this question, the only one they know and their prime directive for existing, until they receive their mystery package. Once they are in the presence of the mystery package, a solitary canine tear may be shed from the joy of accomplishment. They can repeat this feeling by getting more points and more mystery packages.

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4 years ago

Awesome! I want to get the mystery package. These updates are awesome.

4 years ago
Reply to  card223

Yeah I want to see what’s in it!